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  • Writer's pictureCalvin

Be Yourself

Sometimes, I get in the mindset of wanting to do too much. I want to improve the world. I want to give back to my community. I want to be a good citizen and leave an impact in this world. I want to provide value for my company. I want to do a lot of these supposedly great things for society and be a net positive.

And sometimes, I feel myself trying too hard to do that. I stress my mind out about ways to improve and intentionally grow my business. I try to find better ways to give back to the community. I rack my brains trying to find ways to innovate my company.

And all that is fine and dandy. But sometimes, you just have to realize that there is no perfect solution or a perfect mindset out there. Sometimes, you just need to be accepting and be okay with simply being your imperfect self. And most of the times, that should be good enough.

Back when I had social anxiety amongst groups of people, I would always fret about the best way to approach these environments. What should I do? Should I have the mindset of providing value to the people I interact with? Should I have a fun mindset of just letting go and enjoying life? And sometimes, all this flipping around in my inside world can be a bit tiring and simply increase my anxiety and nervousness.

Sometimes, I get the feeling that people react more uncomfortably towards me if I’m trying too hard to be perfect and at ease in social situations. Actually, I feel that people are more of their normal selves when I am simply being my normal self as well. And that involves being able to accept your own insecurities and flaws as well. And just organically working thru that discomfort that comes with being in a social environment.

Again, it all comes down to the age-old advice of being yourself. What does that exactly mean? Aren’t we always ourselves all of the times? Even when we’re posing or faking it or trying to be someone we’re not, aren’t we technically still ourselves?

So, what does this advice actually entail? What does that mean? And for me, it usually means to just relax and not overthink the process. Just accept that things will not go 100% the way you want it to go. And just try your best to focus and be present and be in the flow of things.

I do realize that it is easier said than done. And nobody is ever always in the flow state 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days in a year. But just try your best to be. To be in the moment. And rely on your organic instincts to guide your way through the process. And not to paralyze yourself thru constant mental analysis.

Being yourself means to just breathe and go with the flow. Chances are, you’ll know what to do. It’s not rocket science. And sometimes, it’s okay to share your vulnerabilities with your friends and family. If they are supportive, they will respond to you in a positive manner.

Being yourself means to accept that not everyone is going to be your cup of tea. And similarly, you won’t be the cup of tea for everyone neither. And that’s okay. We don’t have to be best friends with everyone in this world. Chances are, we will still have some friends along the way to help us through hard times and provide joy and memories together with us.

Chances are, there will be someone out there that is compatible for you. There are people out there that (believe it or not) will like you for simply being yourself. There is no one ideal perfect candidate out there. There is no perfect romantic partner. There is no perfect friend. There is no perfect family member. There is no perfect colleague.

We are all just a bunch of imperfect individuals trying to put on our best face to make it in this world. And it’s important to note that you will attract the people most compatible for you if you are simply being yourself. Without the need to invest in additional energy to change who you are. Or agree with things that you don’t necessarily agree upon. To act a certain way. To be someone you’re not.

So, this advice of being yourself should be noted. It is simple, yet effective. I do realize that in society, everyone has to put on some sort of mask of some form. No one acts the same way in all types of situations. I personally don’t act or talk the same way when I’m hanging out with my different type of friends. Sometimes, I have to adapt to their way of communication. I have to partake in activities that fit their style. And that’s okay too.

Being yourself doesn’t mean to be the exact same person all the time. It simply means to go with it. And just be for the sake of being. Most of the times, there is not even a need for words. Sometimes, words can hinder and confuse rather than help. It just means to kind of just do it. To follow your instinct and appreciate the present moment. Because at the end of the day, that is all we got.

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