top of page
  • Writer's pictureCalvin

Confidence Trap

In school, they always do a lot of exercises to help you build confidence. To make you sure of yourself. So, you can act with certainty and decisiveness. So, that you know what to do, when to do it, and who to do it to. And why you do it as well.

This type of certainty is seen as an advantage. After all, confidence is all about being on top of the world. Knowing what’s the best for all there is. It is hailed as a privilege in society today. That’s why it’s so important to instill confidence in kids so that they too can grow up to be decisive human beings.

But, is confidence really a good thing? Is there no downside to supposedly knowing what to do, and when to do it? How sure are we exactly in our everyday lives?

How sure are we in our business lives? In our family lives? In our community lives?

Sometimes, I feel like most people don’t know what they’re doing with their lives. Most people are in the same boat of uncertainty, of not sure what’s the best flavor to pick off the shelf of the grocery store.

But, is that really a bad thing? What’s wrong with a little bit of uncertainty? Uncertainty can help us all grow more open in our perspective. Grow more open to the beauties of other people’s opinions and ideas. We don’t have to be so set in our ways.

If we are too defined and set, sometimes bad things could happen. A lot of arguments and disruptions in life happen because two parties are sure that their way is the best way. They are pitting each other in an ideal battle of good versus evil. Of right versus wrong. Someone must come out on top.

Both parties are confident in their ideals and perceptions. Both parties think they know what’s up. But, do they really? Isn’t it just a perception that can go left or right depending on the direction of the wind?

Even the things I write are not necessarily set in stone. Nothing is certain. It’s just written for the sake of enjoyment. For the sake of savoring the moment. And when the moment passes, who knows. My articles can become obsolete the next day. My opinions could change. I could no longer believe in what I’m writing at any second. So, what’s the point of being so confident in what I write? Or what I speak about?

Everyone seems to have their own opinions and definitions of life. And that’s fine. But, I would argue just to not get too attached to that definition of how life really is. Life can be really one way to one person and really the exact opposite way to the other person. Life is fluid. There is no one rule fits all.

Democrats are not necessarily more good or more evil than Republicans. Religions are not necessarily the end all be all of everything. Your mom and dad are not necessarily the superheroes that you make them out to be when you were a child.

Everything is perception. Perception flows like the tidal waves. And things can change at the snap of a finger. So, confidence can similarly move with the environment as well.

I’m not saying that confidence is bad neither. Everyone needs a little bit of certainty in their lives. Everyone needs to know that they are safe and healthy and at ease with where they are in the moment. There is a reason that teachers try to build up the confidence of kids.

It’s just that confidence is not everything. Sometimes, it’s okay to be a bit unsure of oneself. Who isn’t unsure in rough times? Who isn’t a little bit afraid of different challenges? Who isn’t once in a while traumatized that they may make a fool out of themselves?

Questions are abound in life. And not everyone has the answer. And when someone does have the answer, that simply leads to a million more questions from that answer. It never ends!

So, I wouldn’t worry too much about whether or not you have confidence or don’t have confidence. I’d just take the step to build myself day in and day out. To learn and grow and service those you care about. To be a capable leader in times of distress. And to just help out your fellow man and woman a little bit. Every little helps.

And I would just go from there, not worrying about whether or not I can move mountains, or make a lasting impact to the world. That’s all good to idealize and fantasize about. But, at the end of the day, we are just a speck on this planet and we can only do so much in a day. Besides, does the world really need that much fixing?

8 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All



Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page