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  • Writer's pictureCalvin

Out Of Place

There would be times when I come back from a hard day’s work - ready to look forward to a certain event or a certain person or just a certain setting. It was a tough day, and I am relieved to finally be taking part in this event.

But then, for some reason, the event doesn’t happen the way you expect. It is less than ideal. There will always be something out of place or something that doesn’t go your way.

This happens quite a lot for me. There’ll be something that doesn’t quite fit. Perhaps someone makes an off-hand comment that rubs me the wrong way. Or the meeting doesn’t start on time. Or for some reason, you just don’t find the event that enjoyable.

What do you do then? You waited your whole day to look forward to this event, and then it doesn’t go the way you want. I guess that’s life.

Many times, things don’t happen in the ideal fashion. The standard way that you expect. There will always be something that doesn’t look natural. Something that smells wrong, tastes wrong, or acts wrong.

This happens to me sometimes when I buy that latte from Dunkin Donuts, ready for a calm, relaxing drive back home or to my girlfriend’s apartment. I would try to enjoy myself in the car, sipping on coffee while listening to the radio.

But, once in awhile, there would be random distractions - most notably traffic. The cars on the road would be congested, and I’d find myself getting annoyed at the honking of horns and the rush of cars beside me. An expectedly ideal drive becomes less than ideal. And frankly not as enjoyable.

Something went out of place. Something just didn’t add up. How do we deal with times like this? Is it better to just practice acceptance of the situation? How life will always throw you curveballs here and there for you to deal with. Nothing will be “in place” forever.

There will be times that you don’t expect. Tragedies in your way. Problems and challenges that you have to strive to overcome. And those less-than-ideal moments make life that much more fulfilling.

And ultimately, it is a continuous learning experience. One to cherish for all time. The fact that many things in life aren’t as smooth as expected can be relatable for many people.

It’s just the way our mind is wired. We tend to find something to nitpick about. A certain experience that didn’t go my way. And my mind would latch onto that and make the experience feel incomplete. Feel out of place.

It happens quite often. But that’s what makes life life. If everything were to go smoothly and on the spot 24/7, then that makes for quite a predictable life. One that is devoid of all challenges and lacking in the excitement of the impromptu course that events can shift.

It’s this impromptu out of place nature that makes us grow into better human beings. Makes us learn how to adapt the new challenges that life throws our way.

There’s no need to feel in place all the time. Vacations sometimes don’t happen the way you want it to happen. Friends don’t cater to your every whims. Boyfriends and girlfriends will have quirks and inconsistencies that cause agitation. Same with beloved family members.

It’s all part of this learning nature that we call life. It’s just the way things are sometimes. No need to complain. No need to moan or file a lawsuit. Sometimes, life just doesn’t go the way we ideally plan it to go. Something will seem off.

And then we think that if only this thing were fixed, then everything would be okay. Everything would finally be “in place”. And eventually, we find another blind spot that we need to “fix” and is out of place. And before you know it, we are caught in an endless loop of feeling out of place.

I guess that’s just how our minds work sometimes. We are born to fix and improve and solve problems that pop up continuously. One answer leads to thousands of questions. One solution leads to a million other problems.

It’s okay. So, if you feel out of place, don’t worry because you’re not alone. If you have a certain something that you want to fix, by all means try to do so. But, also accept you for who you are. Of course there will always be times when you need to improve and get better.

Everyone is flawed in their own unique way. And flaws are meant to be fixed. Just realize that the flaws make you who you are. And don’t get too stressed or too down about having them. Because you are not alone. Everyone is trying their best to make it in this game of life.

You do you. Whether out of place or not. Acceptance of the here and now can lead to wonders and amazement that can make us appreciate every little speck of imperfection that is thrown our way.

We are, after all, only human beings. And that should be enough.

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