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  • Writer's pictureCalvin


I am personally into the self-help genre. I collect and read endless book after book about how to improve. How to be this. How to be that. I have books stacking up my desk, and it’s getting to the point where I need to donate to a local library in order to clear up some space around the house.

I literally have maybe 40-50 books that I can donate to free up space and resources. I’ve been thinking about investing in a Kindle lately, but there’s nothing like holding a book in your hand and reading for the sake of reading. For the sake of improving.

Similarly, I enjoy watching self-help topics on YouTube. Everything from how to invest. How to talk to girls. How to be more at peace with oneself. There are many useful information out there that one can take to develop oneself.

But, sometimes, it gets to the point where there is a little bit too much education. Sometimes, there is just information overload. Regardless of how useful the information it is, there is only one me. And I live my own special, unique life that nobody can duplicate. Nobody in this world is exactly the same. Everyone has their own quirks, their own personalities, their own ideals, and their own experiences.

Just assuming that one practical general topic about girls. Or about investing. Or about how to gain peace of mind. And assuming that that one practical tip or advice applies to all situations is kind of inconceivable. No one advice is universal and works for all. Everyone has their own experiences. Their own ideologies. And no one can be completely duplicated one to one.

So, regardless of how well intentioned the advice is online or in books, there is only one you. And you need to take the advice for what it is. Simply as advice. A suggestion. Not a rulebook. Not something you need to legally follow or else you will go to jail. It is simply a suggestion from another flawed and vulnerable human being.

Even the “experts” get things wrong sometimes. No matter how well-intentioned the advice, even their advice isn’t necessarily set in stone. It doesn’t necessarily apply to everyone at all times and in all eras for all ages. It just simply doesn’t work like that.

We need to leave a little bit of room for spontaneity. For thinking things up on the fly. For trying out uncomfortable or unpopular actions. To see if they work during this era. During this time. Sometimes, it works. Sometimes, it doesn’t. There’s really no right nor wrong.

That’s the beauty of spontaneity. Of trying things out on the fly. All these advice from so-called experts are great. They can put you on the path of a general direction. But, it’s up to you walk forth step-by-step. Day-by-day. Hour-by-hour. It’s up to you to truly act the way you want to act.

And if you make a mistake or do something wrong or unpopular, so be it. You live and you learn. And next time, hopefully you avoid making that mistake (if it was a mistake at all or just an unlucky break). So, you walk your own path.

I’m not saying that you should completely disregard the advice of experts or gurus. They are experts for a reason. And their experience in their field of expertise should be commended. They should similarly be praised for taking the effort to share their findings and wisdom to the world. That takes courage in itself. But, just realize that these are simply suggestions from mere mortals. Yes, even gurus are mortals.

It’s up to you try out their advice to see if it works for you. And don’t be afraid to act a little risky or different from the crowd. Nothing is a make or break moment. No matter how significant your client meeting is. No matter how important your girlfriend is to you. No matter how well you think you performed in the eyes of the crowd. There’s no true make or break moment in this world.

That’s the beauty. That’s the flaw. We live and we learn. If we do well, we bottle up what works and hopefully do it again the next time around. If something doesn’t work, we learn from it and tweak our approach and live to fight again another day.

This is how I see advice from books. And advice from the well-meaning YouTube videos out there. There’s no one-size-fits-all policy. Everyone kind of goes to the beat of their own drum, and it’s hard to perfectly say that this one advice is the all-encompassing Bible for one particular person.

Everyone is different. Thus, advice should be taken on a case-by-case basis. Sometimes, it works for a person. Sometimes, it does not. Sometimes, it works during a specific time. Sometimes, it does not. Sometimes, it can work on a Monday. Other times, it could not work on a Friday. The situation is really flowing continuously and is changing fluidly.

So, open your eyes to a little bit of spontaneous flow. To doing things on a trial-by-error basis. Have the courage to go against some well-intentioned advice. Have the courage to step outside your comfort zone and try something new and not be afraid to fail or feel bad. Sometimes, the fallout could have negative consequences. But, you live and you learn.

There will always be more chances down the horizon for you to try out and prosper.

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