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  • Writer's pictureCalvin

The Search

As of this writing, I am in a relatively sufficient and stable state. My life is by all accounts pretty good. I have family. I have friends. I have community. I have health. And I have my finances in order. I’m doing relatively well, and I am grateful for that.

Yet, there are still times, when I feel like I’m searching for something more. Something to completely fulfill myself forever and ever. Something to make me satisfied completely with who I am. It’s hard to put into words.

Again, I’ve accomplished so much in my lifetime already. In Toastmasters. In music. In my career. I am generally pretty proud of the things that I’ve done. And I’d like to think that I make a positive impact towards the community that I live in. And that is all fine and dandy.

But throughout these years in my life, I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter how much money you got, or how many relationships you have, or how awesome your life seems to be on Instagram. None of that really matters much, if you don’ have the right perspective on things.

I think this external world is great and can bring us so much of life’s beautiful pleasures. The money. The fame. The friends. The status. The image. All of that is wonderful. But none of that will truly fulfill us as human beings. We just end up moving on and going after the next big thing. The next challenge. The next goal. It’s usually always on to the next.

Same goes with me. I generally have it all in this country. I am kind of at the top of the food chain. But, in general, there are still times in my life when I find myself trying to strive for more. More money. More friends. More skills. It’s always more of this and more of that.

I think the greatest goal to have is to achieve peace from within. That is probably the most elusive goal that anyone can ever set. None of your money matters if you don’t have the right mindset. And it’s important to find that fine balance between striving for more and finding contentment in the here and now.

These two things are not mutually exclusive, and it is important to keep that in mind. In philosophy class, our goal is to search for the truth. Whatever that means. Truth is fairly relative and can mean different things to different people. I’m honestly not sure if there is a complete universal truth out there that can fit the bill for everyone on this planet. But that’s what we keep searching for in our philosophy class.

Something that is universal. Something that is unchanging. Something that will give us peace and contentment for eternity – for lack of a better word. And I’m still searching, but I think that that type of search can bring about much meaning and enjoyment to life.

It’s something that is abstract and cannot ever be put into words. I think it’s something more than that. And it’s something that transcends the physical and the external plane. It’s something that we all have deep down inside each of us. And it’s up to us to uncover that light and let it shine forth. Let that peace flow through seamlessly. Let it wash over us with stillness.

It is possible. And it’s okay to continue to search. And it’s okay to be content with where you are. And it’s okay to be agitated once in a while with life’s inevitable setbacks. Everything is okay. There is no one size fits all type of policy that is applicable to every single person in this universe.

Life is fluid. Life is ever changing. But it is possible for us to find peace and contentment in the here and now. It is possible to find that ever elusive stillness that is within us all. And it is possible find fulfillment thru both the desire for more and the enjoyment of relative contentment.

I guess what I’m saying is that the search goes on for most of us. Whatever it takes to improve our lives. To be happy with our friends and family. To simply enjoy this brief time on Earth that we all have. I think we all have the right to do that. And we should all never give up in searching for whatever it is that will give us joy and peace.

But honestly, everything we have is already here. We can go about the world working and making money and looking for new opportunities. And all that is fine. But the real search is not for more money or more luxuries or more houses. The real search is looking within to find the gold mine that is hidden beneath us all.

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