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  • Writer's pictureCalvin

There's Always Something

I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s hard to explain. But I’ll try my best to do so. I have a wonderful family. A wonderful girlfriend. Drama-free friends. And a beautiful community that I can call home in NYC. And most of the times, my life is relatively peaceful and meaningful. I’d say that right now it is relatively stable (knock on wood).

And I am very grateful for that and will savor the moment. But, sometimes once in a while there will always be small nagging things that will annoy me. Maybe someone will make an unintentional comment and it will bother me for a little bit. Or some stranger cuts me off in traffic and that gets me agitated for a while. Or I end up worrying about losing a potential deal with a new customer.

There just always seems to be minor nagging thoughts popping up in my head for better or worse. Regardless of how well off I am. No matter how awesome my Facebook page seems to be like. No matter how much money I have. No matter how good my health is. There always seems to be something nagging that I want to fix. There always seems to be something that is missing for whatever reason.

This is not to say that that is bad. It’s okay to not have the whole picture. It’s okay to be incomplete. We don’t need to have all the answers at our fingertips and sometimes things need to be open to interpretation. Life is not all black and white. And what’s wrong for you may be right for someone else.

I think in general, no life is perfect. Everyone has something that is missing. Something that is nagging them. And that’s okay. Just because something is missing doesn’t mean you still can’t live a fulfilling life. You can certainly be relatively at peace and content with what you have.

Maybe you want more money. Maybe you want to be in better shape. Maybe you want to extend your knowledge of a particular industry that you’re working in. There is always something that is missing. There is always something that can be worked on. There is always something that you can improve upon yourself.

Nobody is sketched in stone. For me, sometimes I would fall into the trap of picking at the flaws of my friends and family members. Maybe they’re not talkative enough. Or maybe they talk too much. Maybe they’re too anxious all the time. Maybe they’re too preoccupied with their career. The list goes on. You can go on forever and ever picking on the flaws of the people you love. You can go on and on listing out all the imperfections of everybody that you meet and see.

There will always be something to say about someone else. There will always be some type of flaw out there that can be improved upon. There will always be something that nags at you in your head. There will always be some sort of imperfection or problem that needs to be solved. After all, one problem fixed simply leads to a multitude of more problems down the road.

It’s a never-ending story. And there will always be something out there that you will find to be troublesome. Or not worth your while. Or a bit out of place. Or simply doesn’t fit into your standard or taste of what is good or what is bad.

There’s always something that can be improved upon. You can’t really change that. You can’t really change what’s wrong with other people. You can’t really change the flaws that you see in others. The one true person that you can change is yourself. And it’s up to you to find the best perspective that serves you well in this day and age. And that perspective can certainly change as well by the years, by the months, by the hour, or even by the minute.

Personally, I get agitated about losing a potential deal with an international customer. I am worried that something will go wrong along the way and that the project will not become a commercial success. I am worried that someone along the way well cut us out of the deal. That perhaps they will find a way to double cross my team or put me out on the backburner. I genuinely worry about these things when it comes to making money for my family business. And it’s not really something that I can control.

These random worries just pop up in my head once in awhile, and I can’t really control when they come and when they go. But, it’s relatively manageable. And I understand that if it’s not this worry that I’m thinking about, then more likely than not it will be another random worry in my head. So, in a sense, it’s good that I’m preoccupied with this particular worry right now. Because it could always be much worse!

Having said that, I think it’s good that we all develop some sort of acceptance to the things we cannot control. And that our minds are not ideal pure heavenly places to be. Our minds are flawed. Sometimes, they are churning out random thoughts here and there. Sometimes, they can be unfocused or completely out of sorts. Sometimes, they will be thinking about the next worry around the corner.

I certainly feel this at times. And if I feel this, then chances are that others feel like this at times too. Our thoughts are not perfect. They will not always be pure or pristine or completely at peace. Agitation is a normal part of life, and life will throw you lemons and curveballs at times. Just know that there will always be something. If not this, then it’ll probably be that.

So, just learn to accept that your life is not going to be a perfectly wrapped bowtie with a clean beginning and a clean ending. It will be tumultuous at times. It will be combative and agitative at times. And that’s okay. Because we are all human beings living in this messy world. And most of us probably don’t know what we are doing anyways. So, just accept the things you cannot control, and realize that something will always eventually come up. But it’s not the end all be all, and it won’t break us for the long run.

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